Category Archives: cancer

no news is… well, no news

19 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by in cancer, home, sevilla

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Back from seeing the oncologist and basically there’s no news. Things are as I suspected, with both the colonoscopy and endoscopy results clean. But there remains that pesky – and mysterious – inflammation that nobody can explain, short of opening me up, which my doctor seems to think is a bit drastic at this point. She wants to continue with clinical studies for the moment and monitor my “well being”. And so the next CT scan will be in May and I’m to check in with her again mid-April just to report on how I’m feeling.

All of this is both comforting and yet still somewhat alarming, because if they were sure I was okay then they wouldn’t be doing another CT so soon. So there must be something about the inflammation they find worrying. I forgot to ask about possible peritoneum issues, which I’d had before, and which usually don’t show up on scans. But I was there on my own today and, as usual, I got nervous and forgot what I’d wanted to say. I had also wanted to ask about the “opening me up” options, but then got  caught up in the good news side of things. Basically I should never go alone to these appointments. I’d be more worried about this now if I wasn’t seeing the oncologist again in April. Next time I’ll take notes.

Anyhow, afterwards I made my way home, stopping at Casa Morales for a quick “brunch” (tortilla and a beer), because I had been too nervous to eat breakfast before going to the hospital. And it was nice to just chat with the guys there and feel normal, even though “life in limbo” continues.

my first endoscope

01 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals, sevilla

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The endoscope examination is pretty much like the one at the other end, except without the horrendous massive “clean out” prep. For this one all I had to do was not eat or drink for 8 hours before the test. I actually had my last meal more than 12 hours before, but going 8 hours without any water (!!!) was really hard. I’m a 2-litre a day water drinking fiend.

Just like with the colonoscopy I was sedated before the procedure but this time I wasn’t so lucky with my nurse, who could NOT seem to find a vein anywhere. And hand pokes are way more hurty than arm pokes, but anyhow. I was eventually chemically relaxed enough and they did their stuff. It was uncomfortable more than painful, and I got a bit gaggy towards the end, but nothing too awful. And then I was wheeled into the recovery area.

And the best thing of all was that they told me they hadn’t found anything, that I was “all clear”! I have to say that I love this about the Digestivo department, giving patients their results straight away so they don’t have to wonder and worry until they see their doctors again (my next onc appt is March 19th). Though I suspect they only hand out the good news results. But hey, I am happy.

From what I understand, this now means that they have ruled out two of the main possibilities for recurrence – for now. Next up will be another CAT scan three months from now to compare those results to the last one. The main issue being ALL THAT INFLAMMATION that nobody can explain. And so… good, right? At least until I hear otherwise. And so, back to living in denial.  😉

still in limbo…

26 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals, sevilla

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I’ll write something more about my fab weekend away later. As usual, it was great to come home and be welcomed by los gatos (this big lug was especially happy to have his comfy warm human lap back). Though I didn’t sleep so well because today I had my oncology appointment to get the results for the colonoscopy and CAT scan. Bottom line is that I am still in limbo for now.

The colonoscopy results were good, which I already knew because at the time I asked them if they had taken samples to be tested, and they said no because they hadn’t found anything. Phew!

But I had to wait until today for the CAT scan results. In a word, they were inconclusive. There is still that pesky area of inflammation sitting over my stomach that is obscuring any clear scan results, either the PET or CAT. The reason I am getting all these extra tests now is because the last PET scan results showed that the inflammation had grown substantially since the previous one, and I was also in a lot of pain. Though shortly after the last PET the pain suddenly disappeared.

And so, because they don’t actually know what is going on in that murky area of inflammation, I now have to have an endoscopy so they can look inside my stomach. That will happen on Thursday. AND THEN… I have to go through the hell of waiting for results until my next oncology appointment on March 19th.

I like my new oncologist. She is very clear and sympathetic, and answers all my questions. Today she said that because of this “murky area” they simply cannot say with certainty that I am in the clear. And so even if the endoscopy comes back clean, they will still want to do a follow-up CAT scan in three months. She said the only way to be 100% sure that I have no cancer is to operate, which she thinks is too aggressive an approach at this time, especially as the pain has disappeared.

After having undergone four major abdominal operations, the main suspect at the moment is post-op adhesions, when the buildup of fibrous bands of scar tissue wreaks havoc on the surrounding organs. This very same buildup often shows up as inflammation on scans, and can obscure scan results.

So here I am once again in limbo. Of course I am relieved that I wasn’t told today that they’d found cancer and then passed on a death sentence… but I am not out of the woods yet. Because although my doctor told me today it was a positive sign the pain had gone, they wouldn’t be doing these extra tests fer nuthin. So today felt like a “stay of execution”, and now I am waiting (with fingers crossed) for a full pardon. xx

après oncology

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in cancer, friends, hope, hospitals, sevilla, sherry

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This morning I had an appointment with my new oncologist. After last week’s “good news bad news” situation following the PET scan I have to say I’ve been pretty stressed, with some days better than others. Say what you will, but after all my cancer history, the idea of a looming recurrence threat just became a lot more real to me. I try hard not to think about this too much, but sometimes it’s just too much.

Anyhow, today my lovely friend and colleague Cinta came with me to my appointment to act as “interpreter”, because when I get really nervous somehow my knowledge of Spanish totally flies out the window, and I wanted to be sure I didn’t miss anything important.

The good news is that both Cinta and I like the new oncologist. She was patient and had a gentle touch whilst poking around my belly. She was also patient as I tried to explain my situation in a more elaborate manner than she possibly required. Then she said that she was going to ask for both a colonoscopy and abdomen-thorax CAT scan, in order to find out what was causing the increase of inflammation seen in the PET scan, and also the extreme abdominal pain I’ve been having since November.

EXCEPT the weirdest thing has happened. After having had “travelling” abdominal pain for almost three months, sometimes so intense I couldn’t sleep and could barely walk… the day after the PET scan ALL THE PAIN DISAPPEARED. What?? I mean, seriously, it’s gone. Well okay, there are a few “tugs” here and there. But I no longer want to scream in agony when I roll over in bed or bend over to put on my shoes. The new onc is taking this as a positive sign, but the tests still need to be done. And I’m still scared.

Anyhow, after Cinta and I left the hospital and got a taxi back to the centre, it seemed like a good time to relax with a nicely chilled manzanilla, even though it wasn’t quite noon yet. Luckily this isn’t anything unusual in Sevilla.

good news, bad news…

25 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

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officially radioactive!

I’ve been having routine PET scans since I was first diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer (metastasis to liver) back in May 2008. At first they were every six months, but then once I became a member of the 5 Year Club they were reduced to once a year.  And every time I’ve been scared witless, fearing I’d hear the worst after my scan. I am very fortunate that my friend Isabel is the head of Nuclear Medicine at my hospital, so she always has a look at my scan while I’m there and gives me the results on the spot. She’ll call me into the PET area and say “all normal, nothing to worry about” and then send me on my way, not quite believing my good fortune.

But today after my scan Isabel called me into a private office and asked me to sit down.

And well, it’s kind of good news / bad news. The good news is that my liver is clean, no signs of anything nasty going on there. The bad (or potentially bad) news is that the “area of inflammation” that has been showing up on my PET scans since 2008 has increased dramatically. Over the years this area has been constantly shrinking, with each PET scan showing it a bit smaller and, as long as it kept shrinking, it was always considered a result of scar tissue. Today Isabel told me that it is back to the size it originally was back in 2008. And so now I will have to undergo more tests – CAT scan, ultrasound, colonoscopy – to (hopefully!) rule out cancer. In theory it could be an inflammatory infection, complications due to the adhesions, or any other number of non-cancer-related issues. Or it could be cancer. And so, Isabel has taken steps to get me an appointment with Oncology asap so they can start the extra testing.

I’m annoyed that they didn’t take me seriously at Emergency when I went there complaining about the abdominal pain back in November (exactly two months ago today). My GP also blew me off when I went to ask him about it afterwards, saying I just had gas and should take a pain killer. And even when I saw an oncologist at the beginning of January, she was totally dismissive about my complaints (you need to lose weight, I’m sure it’s just gas), and reluctantly booked my next PET scan.

The good thing is that now Isabel is setting the wheels in motion for me to get the appropriate extra testing done and, more importantly, to have me taken seriously by these other doctors. Meanwhile I am fluctuating between absolute terror and total denial. How’s your day going?