18 Tuesday Aug 2009
Posted in books & writing, change, chemo, fitness, food & drink, friends, health & happiness, holidays, hope, internet, life stuff, travel, trips, yoga
Yesterday I read this article called Can You Handle 24 Hours of Solitude? … and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to do this. In fact, it’s taken some time to get used to being alone on holiday here in Zahara. I know some of you think this is like a dream come true, but I came here not just to spend some time at the beach and take care of Mini – it was also a personal challenge. I really wasn’t sure how I’d feel being on my own for a whole ten days. And now it’s day four …
07 Tuesday Jul 2009
Posted in cancer, fitness, health & happiness, life stuff, philosophy, yoga
It’s a conspiracy I tell ya.
Ever since I made the decision to take time out to heal so many positive things have happened to me that I feel sure that I made the right decision. And the main recurrent theme has been remembering to breathe. First “Bob” sent me some good advice about yoga breathing and described a good one for me to practice that would help me focus on the present. And of course we do various breathing exercises in yoga class. Then the other day I read this lovely quote…
Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
I’ve been doing that one a lot since then and it really feels good. And then today someone on Twitter linked to a blog called Zen Habits and this wonderful post called (you guessed it) Breathe. It’s as though all of a sudden the universe is intent on getting me to breathe properly. And also to work on personal growth stuff. I had a quick look at the archives on Zen Habits and think I will do quite a bit more reading there. I really like the simplicity of the posts.
04 Saturday Jul 2009
Today’s Photohunter theme is “pink”.
Am bending the rules a bit as this photo was taken for me not by me (I also posted it here last month, but what the heck). My friend Sara and her mum – both cancer survivors – took part in the central London Race For Life at the end of May. Sara’s husband Steve took this photo and sent it to me. It made me cry happy tears and feel very loved indeed.
I’m Shawn.
01 Wednesday Jul 2009
I proclaim today as the beginning of my summer holidays!
Back when I mentioned my need to take some Time Out there were still several matters to attend to and get organised before I felt I could really relax and focus on taking some quality healing time. So most of June was spent “taking care of business” and getting through some pretty rough chemo. To wit, I have also decided that I’m done with the infusions and won’t be taking the sixth one. If they let me I’ll still do the sixth round of chemo mid-July, but only taking the dreaded Xeloda, which has a slightly less toxic effect on me. After the last infusion I got a very clear message from my body that it was DONE with that shit and really couldn’t take any more. And since my last PET scan was clear, I think I can take my body’s advice on that.
So for the next two months it’s going to be all about healing, yoga, long walks, healthy diet, cats, friends and – most importantly – taking time to breathe. I also have a few projects to work on, but just poco á poco when I feel up to it. And Nog & I want to get casa az de-cluttered and set up so we can both work here in comfort come September.
What will you be doing this summer?
08 Monday Jun 2009
Posted in cancer, change, chemo, fitness, food & drink, friends, health & happiness, home, hope, life stuff, yoga
Remember multi-tasking az?
Well, she is taking some time out.
She needs some time to heal.
I just couldn’t do it all. I’ve spent the past two months going through the horrors of chemo for the second time, trying to organise work projects and find new students to teach, pay my bills, make new contacts … and all it’s doing is wearing me out. I haven’t actually found any work and I know that – things being the way they are in Seville – the chances of anything picking up for me workwise won’t realistically happen until September. So it’s time to stop hitting my head against that brick wall for now and time to start doing what I know will help me.
I’ve spent the past few days “practicing” my new healing method and you know what? It feels great. I’ve been listening to exactly what my mind and body need and then doing just that. And I know that, for me, this is the best way to heal. I also know that doing this isn’t going to make me one euro, and I have no idea how I’m going to make ends meet over the summer … but I just can’t worry about that now.
This is what I need to do. Follow my heart.
casa azahar 