Category Archives: health & happiness

compression

22 Wednesday May 2024

Posted by in health, health & happiness, knee saga, knees, sevilla

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compression

Well look at these sexy fuckers. Can I tell you? I’ve been looking for a compression knee sleeve since last year when my left knee gave out on me big time in May 2023 (now both knees are fucked). Could I find one? Well obviously no I couldn’t (or I wouldn’t be posting this now). All the ones I tried out cut off all circulation in a matter of seconds and then proceeded to just roll down my leg when I tried to walk.

Why? Because… legs too fat! Or so I was told. I didn’t fit into the acceptable size range, even the biggest XXX ones. And, while I acknowledge being fat I also know there are way fatter people out there. I mean, what do they do? Considering that many people with knee problems probably also have weight issues… wouldn’t there be a market for this?

It’s all been terribly discouraging because everyone tells me how wearing the sleeve makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in pain relief. And since I have been denied any useful help from the various doctors I’ve seen lately  I’m kind of on my own. Been using an anti-inflammatory cream, been doing my chair yoga/pilates, and I keep on walking. But dammit it hurts.

And then these ones suddenly popped up on my Amazon page (while I was actually shopping for something else) and I thought… wait a minute, those look like they might actually work. The measurements were in keeping with mine, so I decided to give it a go. And so far… I can actually get it on. Will let you know how it goes.

black monday

26 Monday Feb 2024

Posted by in health, health & happiness, sevilla

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black monday

Nothing really to do with it being Monday since, as a freelancer, there aren’t actually any weekdays or weekends (or holidays). And as far as my work goes, I love it, so I don’t fall prey to pre-work dread. So what is it then? Good question. I know this has been building up for a while now with my usual tools of denial, deflection and determination getting me through. But something feels wrong. I feel like I’m in a dark place that is scaring the fuckity out of me and every day it gets harder to get out of bed and care about anything. So every day is an exercise in going through the motions in the hope that my… what? will kick back in.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still going about my life, working, seeing friends, doing stuff I like, making plans… but it kind of feels like I am actually missing while all of this stuff going on, like I’m not really there. The detachment is what’s scaring me. Feels like I’ve been here before and it didn’t go well. I wish I could be more clear about this but as about 90% of my childhood memories don’t exist I’ve always felt like I am playing it by ear. Day by day.

Believing in myself has always been a challenge and there is a propensity to believe the worst and not have faith in the good stuff. What can I say? I know I’m a complicated person. But it turns out that for many people out there I’m kind of a “marmite” love-or-hate person. Honestly I’d rather just be liked and respected on a mutual individual basis… don’t require unanimous love and sure don’t do well with hate.

Anyhow, just blowing off some steam as I am sitting here at home unable to go outside because… can’t.

too much pain

23 Friday Feb 2024

Posted by in fitness, health, health & happiness, knee saga, knees

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knee pain

So I’m pretty much desperate now. I’ve had KNEES for the past few years, meaning that I became physically aware that they existed rather than previously when they just functioned without making their presence known. But it was only last year May-June when I started having serious knee pain. So I got it checked out, got x-rays and an MRI in September (on the left knee, though by then it was the right knee that was giving me more grief). In fact I ended up at emergency when the pain got so bad it scared me. Doc just said I should stay off it and prescribed pain meds, including Nolotil which is BANNED IN 20 COUNTRIES as one of its many nasty side effects is DEATH. Needless to say I eschewed the drugs.

I haven’t gone back to my GP about the MRI results because when I tried a phone appointment a few months ago she was on holiday and I got her replacement who just told me to take painkillers and ride a stationary bike. The fuck? For what it’s worth I’ve set up another phone appointment for next week to see if she has anything more helpful to say. Like, I should probably be seeing an orthopaedic specialist at this point, plus I think the right knee also needs an MRI. And then, you know, maybe some helpful advice?

Meanwhile, I can barely walk anymore. It’s shocking to me how things went from “gee my knees kinda hurt” less than a year ago to screaming pain whenever I have to get up from a seated position (once I get moving it eases up a bit, but only a bit). Needless to say this affects my job which involves a lot of walking. But it has also affected my life in general because walking is what I do! I’m always out and about, getting my steps in, just being out there. Now it takes all my effort to put myself through the pain it takes to just walk a few blocks. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted.

more workouts

25 Friday Aug 2023

Posted by in health, health & happiness, pilates, yoga

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more workouts

Since I started doing chair yoga and chair pilates I have since discovered a whole whack of different workout vids by this woman. They vary from quick 10-minute stretch/strength videos to 35-minute cardio ones and there’s lots of variety. The good thing is that there is never any excuse not to do SOMETHING each day, though I try to fit in at least half an hour, and obviously you can mix and match them. Some of them are quite challenging and, as you can see, I am also getting out of my chair (!). The whole point of starting with the chair stuff was to avoid having to sit or lie on the floor (knees! back!), so the standing ones work just as well for me. My goal is to also start fitting in some of the shorter ones (that don’t make me all sweaty) during the day, just for a bit of extra movement. Have to say that my back, and even my knees, are feeling much better.

blocked af

14 Friday Jul 2023

Posted by in change, health, health & happiness

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block

So this popped up in my Instagram feed and I thought it was pretty timely as I had just received the notice that my appointment with the nutritionist/endocrinologist will be on August 4th (three weeks from today). Not bad as my GP just sent out the request last week. Anyhow, I have always felt “blocked” when it came to losing weight, pretty much all my life, but things got a lot more difficult after cancer/chemo, menopause and, well, getting older. As my friend Kate @sledpress wisely says, it’s not a simple binary about what goes in or doesn’t, which is something I have also noticed all my life.

The hope is that new doc won’t just put me “on a diet” but will address the various issues and help me find a more balanced and intelligent way of living with everything, without having to take more drugs. Though I think she has her work cut out for her because when I saw this pic I realised that I have ALL THE BLOCKS. In spades. Wish me luck!