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Category Archives: hope

watery windows

23 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by azahar in cancer, health & happiness, home, hope, hospitals

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

cancer, home, hope, hospital

water windows
The windows in the oncology waiting room are the one source of beauty there. I had to go see my oncologist to set up my next PET scan and was surprised to find out she wasn’t back yet. In fact, I haven’t seen her for about a year, but put that down to her being out of town or otherwise busy whenever my routine check-ups came around. Since I get my PET scan results in the same day as the test I don’t need that follow-up appointment afterwards.

Well, not only did I find out that Dr Ana wasn’t there, but I was also told she might not be coming back. Turns out she had cancer (!!!) and although she seems to be physically recovered now it looks like she isn’t psychologically well enough to resume her duties. So I had a chat with the new guy and was impressed that he’d read my file and seemed to know my whole story. I told him that both Dr Ana and Ricardo had recommended I do the PET scans every six months for 5 years (after finishing my last chemo) and this guy agreed that this was a good thing to do. Though he did surprise me – when I suggested I might also get the chemo port removed – by saying I could have had it taken out ages ago. When I asked him the obvious, he said if the cancer comes back they’d just put in another one. Well!

So I am now waiting to find out when the next PET scan will be. If all goes well I should be getting the port out soon and will be able to stop living within six-month segments of time. Meanwhile, I keep on working and playing as best I can.

back to school

08 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by azahar in azahartravels, cancer, cats, change, chemo, hope, tapas tours, websites, work

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

health, home, plans, september, work

printingMorcilla overseeing the printing

I’ve often thought that September feels like the real “new year”, rather than the first of January. Summer holidays are (mostly) over, shops and bars have reopened, there are lots more people out and about. This week especially has a distinct “back to school” feel to it as I get things organised for the whack of Sevilla Tapas Tours booked over the next couple of months and settle back into a routine of getting chores done and going to the gym. Meanwhile I chip away at the iceberg of blog posts and articles that need to be written or updated, including editing the 3000 or more photos I took over the summer. Any spare time is being spent on putting together my new Trip Planning biz, which is pretty much ready to go but still needs fine tuning before I properly launch it.

It’s also a time for taking care of practical matters like tax stuff (ick) and finally seeing the dentist. I had planned to put the latter off until the next PET scan, but after having lost a fourth filling (plus much tooth) last month, another fell out over the weekend and, well, FIVE half-gone teeth seems like too much to ignore. I’ve got my oncology appointment on the 22nd, so blood work will have to be done before that, and then the quite possibly scariest PET scan of all will be sometime in October. So much hinges on this one coming back clean as it’ll mark five years since my last chemo and – if all is well – a change in how I’m monitored. Most likely I’ll switch to having annual PET scans instead of every six months and maybe they’ll even remove the chemo port. Both of these would be such much-needed positive changes in my life (I can’t even bear to consider the alternative) that I’m almost too scared to hope. I’ll let you guys do that for me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

But at least so far, it’s all good this September. Lots to do, lots of new stuff coming up. Very exciting. How about you? How’s your “new year” coming along?

hello harriet!

16 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by azahar in animals & pets, cats, hope

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

cats, home, hope

hello harrietAs if I didn’t already have enough reasons to love my lovely friend Victor @welovemalaga… meet Harriet. Victor found her in the street a week or so ago and, well, couldn’t just leave her there. And so she has a new home with a loving human and – so far – a not so happy Winnifred (resident queen cat). But I’m told that Harriet is working her way into Winnifred’s heart poco รก poco. It took exactly 2 seconds to have me madly in love with her, possibly less. That belly, Sled! Aren’t you just melting??

robin williams

12 Tuesday Aug 2014

Posted by azahar in death & dying, hope

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robin williams

robin williamsThis was posted by his daughter this morning.

I have no words, just sadness.

But these are nice words.

teeth

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by azahar in cancer, health & happiness, hope

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

cancer, hope, life, teeth

teeeethYou know that crumbling teeth anxiety dream? Well, it happened again – except I wasn’t asleep. There I was eating something totally innocuous (greek yoghurt) and suddenly half a molar fell out. Well, a filling that had previously been filling half a molar fell out. This makes the fourth one in the past 2-3 years, which is kind of getting ridiculous, as well as harder to ignore. Why ignore them you ask? Well, at the risk of sounding morbid, I just didn’t think that repairing teeth at great expense was a priority if I was going to end up back on chemo and/or dead in the next year or so. But with my (hopefully) final “six-month” PET scan coming up in September/October, I may have to start taking action. The deal is, if I get the all-clear next scan and they move me to annual PET scans – and remove that pesky chemo port – then I will finally feel less like I’m on death row and living between six-month reprieves, and more like, well, I don’t know anymore. But I will definitely get my teeth fixed! Or pulled. Whatever.

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