Category Archives: hope

chemo port cleaning

06 Tuesday Mar 2012

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

≈ 9 Comments

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It was that time of the month again today – chemo port cleaning time! It’s actually been a bit better since they changed their system and I go to the blood lab next to the main hospital building rather than the room where everyone is getting their chemo infusions done. Doesn’t *quite* feel so much like going to the hospital. But I still taxi there and back. A bit of a splurge, but it takes the edge off by going in comfort rather than having to get on a crowded bus, etc.

So after today’s procedure (you can see a tiny white bandaid in my cleavage there – dig that crazy shirt!) I decided to pop over to the Nuclear Medicine department to see if either Ricardo or Isabel were there and ask them if I could get a copy of my last PET scan results. Ended up having a nice visit with Ricardo, talking about travelling and this & that. Finally got around to discussing the whole cancer thing and when he asked how I was feeling I said I felt quite okay, but also felt I should be taking better care of myself. His reply was that we all should and that, although I still have this thing looming over my head, something else could come along and “get me” so probably best to just get on with things and not dwell on it. And you know what? He’s right. He’s also one of the very few people on the planet who could actually say that to me and not make me want to rip their head off.

But the chemo port cleaning is a monthly reminder that I have this port imbedded inside me FOR A REASON. Which is that I’m still considered very high risk for recurrance. Hard not to think of that sometimes, but today talking with Ricardo helped.

Now I’m off to meet a group of 8 people from Thailand and take them on a tapas tour!

What did you do today?

my home team

08 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by in cancer, cats, friends, hope, hospitals

≈ 16 Comments

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Right, I’m really scared. Will I be spared for another six months or has my luck finally run out? Also, the PET scan is in a different place this time, so no Team there, nothing familiar. I’m not even sure where it is, so will take a taxi. I think María Paz is coming with me but she has a bad cold and might not be able to make it, and Peter is working, so I might end up going all alone. But at least I’ll know that my Home Team will be here waiting for me.

See you on the other side…

new towels

31 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by in cancer, home, hope, retail therapy

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I love new towels, but have yet in my life been able to buy the sort of towels I would really love to have (same deal goes with sheets). And as I can usually get by with worn out old towels – in other words, they are seldom a priority – it isn’t until they start getting a bit transparent that I go out in search of new ones. Best time for that here is during the after-Christmas or summer sales. Like now!

This is one of the many up-sides to having a working roommate who can pay his way – that there is actually enough money to buy stuff like this without it being such a big deal.

Also, since the whole cancer thing, I don’t tend to spend money on *stuff* unless it’s something very useful that would improve day-to-day quality of life. Heck, I haven’t even bothered to get my teeth fixed after losing fillings in two of them simply because there’s not that much money to go around and I’d rather spend it on experiences and enjoying life. Like going out for tapas, taking short trips, things like that. Oh, and an iPad. Maybe.

As usual, so much is hinging on the results of the next PET scan. It’s so stressful living in these six-month cancer-free stretches of time, never knowing if the next scan will bring bad news, never knowing how far I can plan ahead. And if anyone tells me I should THINK POSITIVE… well, just don’t, okay? You have no idea what this is like.

Meanwhile, the new towels are lovely and soft…

hope 2013

03 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by in cancer, friends, hope, life stuff

≈ 6 Comments

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Back on January 3rd 2009 I posted my first Photohunt entry. The theme that week was “hope” and I put up a photo of my daybook turned to January 3rd 2010 with the words “STILL HERE!” written on it. Since then I have posted a new version of this hopeful photo every year on this date, but this year when I turned the pages to find January 3rd 2013 I saw that it stopped on January 2nd (!!!), which seemed a bit ominous…

But, ever resourceful, I have used the January 2013 planning page for this year’s pic. And, ever hopeful, I wish with all my heart to see you all here next year!