the love of my life
12 Wednesday Sep 2012
Posted in animals & pets, cancer, cats, death & dying, home, love
Tag Archives: death
enjoying a sunbeam
11 Tuesday Sep 2012
Posted in animals & pets, cats, death & dying, home, hope
Here is the best cat in the world enjoying a sunbeam this morning. To be honest, I thought Azar wasn’t going to still be alive when I woke up today (not that I slept much!). In fact, the past two nights I’ve barely slept because he’s been tossing and turning and sometimes crying out, totally breaking my heart. I would have taken him to the vet’s yesterday but I had my own hospital day, plus a tapas tour in the evening. So today I brought him in to see Eva just to get another opinion on whether it was time to let Azar go, though when I saw him looking so content in that sunbeam I hoped there was still more I could do.
Well, the sad thing is that Eva does think that Azar is probably on his way out. Since the trauma of his exploding tumour, about ten days ago, he’s stopped eating on his own and has to be fed using a syringe. And then on Sunday he stopped drinking on his own, which was the thing he always used to do no matter what. Eva said cats with kidney problems go through a lot of low periods, but then rally again. The thing that’s hard to know now is whether this is a low time because of the whole tumour thing, which has left his only good front leg too weak to walk on, not to mention the pain involved, or whether he’s just had enough.
The good thing about taking him in this morning is that I now have a time-frame and treatment regimen to work with. I still need to keep changing the bandages 2-3 times a day – the wound is almost completely healed, which Eva still can’t believe – and I was told to keep feeding him the same amount of food I’ve been giving him (was very glad to hear I’d been giving him the right amount!). Now I also have to start giving him 20 mls of water a day, in 5 ml doses. If I do all that and by Friday there is no improvement then it will be time to say goodbye.
I did wonder if it was time to say goodbye this morning, until I saw him in the sunbeam and thought “not just yet”.
calmosedan
09 Thursday Aug 2012
Posted in animals & pets, cancer, cats, death & dying, love
Bought some of this today…
I was hoping to get something I could inject but was told that wouldn’t be legal. I can see that. But apparently if I give Azar two of these “when his time comes” then he’ll be so drowsy that he won’t know he’s on his way to the vet’s.
I also bought some wet food hoping that might pique his interest a bit. And then picked up some asparagus on the way home.
Now I’m going to bed early because these days that’s the only time Azar will come out from under the bed. When he knows I’m there lying down and ready to give him a cuddle just how he likes it. He also lets me feed him in bed. Little weirdo. Well, whatever it takes. Even getting up for 3am feedings.
Because it’s not quite his time yet.
resting comfortably
02 Thursday Aug 2012
Posted in animals & pets, cancer, cats
The heart of my heart, the love of my life, the… well, you get the picture. This is the most beloved little being I’ve ever known. He owns my heart and has taught me to be a good and caring person. And he’s dying. Yes, mostly of old age but now sooner due to idiot vet giving him his first vaccination at age 15 in a place that was sure to give him a malignant sarcoma. And it did. The tumour has almost doubled in size in the past few weeks. And Azar spends more and more time alone, avoiding everyone, except at night when he still comes up onto my bed to cuddle and even sleep on my head. I can’t stand it guys.
I feel like I’m losing him fast and… I can’t stand it.
gaelen & azahar
19 Thursday Jul 2012
Posted in welcome
This was so timely! About a month or so ago my friend and neighbour Flor (aka Flor de Jardín) told me she had a lovely orange tree that she wanted to give me, to put in the very beautiful, and massive, ornate clay pot that had been left behind by previous tenant Rafael. This is in part because Flor will be spending more time at her wonderful property in the Algarve and less at her place here, at least for now. So she has been giving some of her plants away to people she knew would appreciate and care for them.
And so today was the day. Mostly because it coincided with Flor having arranged for her friend to carry the tree over from her place (about a block away) and lug it up the stairs to my terrace. And then we set about getting it re-homed in a manner that Flor was happy about. This meant having previously drilled proper drainage holes in the bottom of this large clay beast and then buying bags and bags of earth early this morning, and still not having quite enough but I can top it up a bit later. It also meant finding the perfect spot, which ended up being next to the dining table and out of the direct blazing sun (though it still gets plenty of light!). It’s hard to see in this great photo with Flor, but the part where the top of the tree is out of sight is actually an open space between that pillar and the wall of the house. So lots of room to grow.
Of course Flor knew I was the perfect person for this beautiful tree because it meant that I could finally have my very own azahar…
And it was only after Flor and her helpers left when it occurred to me that this would be Pat’s tree too. You know how people plant trees or have park benches installed in the name of a lost loved one? Well, this orange tree will be my memorial to Pat. Gaelen & azahar – which is how we knew each other when we first met – together on a sunny Sevilla rooftop.
I know this would have made Pat smile.
casa azahar 