Category Archives: cancer

on donations…

15 Monday Jun 2009

Posted by in cancer, friends, hope

≈ Comments Off on on donations…

piggy-bank

Just wanted to say a word about donations. The other day I received an amazing gift – a donation that was enough to cover my rent, bills and basic living expenses for a whole month! Clearly this was not the norm. And while I made a big fuss about that and am extremely grateful to Bob for giving me this month to heal, I wanted to be sure to also thank those of you who have continued to send donations when you could.

Each and every donation I’ve received this past year has been very much appreciated, and I want to make this clear because I have sometimes received donations along with apologies for it not being more. Imagine apoligising for helping me! It’s unthinkable. I mean, if ten people send me 20 euros then that means I end up with 200 euros (half  my share of the rent!). But if those people don’t send the 20 euros because they are somehow embarrassed or think it’s somehow “too small” then … well, you know. Just saying, it does all add up, and some months I have been totally saved by several such “too small” donations. They have all made a difference.

I truly hope to get things going in September and become self-sufficient again. One of the worst “side-effects” of this illness has been having to ask for help and especially overcome the shame of not being able to support myself. Your generosity and caring and continued friendship has really helped see me through this. Gracias, amigos.

celebration

14 Sunday Jun 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, food & drink, friends, health & happiness, home, hope, life stuff, love, philosophy, photos, tapas

≈ 4 Comments

becerrita(click on pic to enlarge)

On this week’s A Day at the Hospital post I told you that something wonderful had happened and that Nog and I went out to celebrate. Later I told you the reason for celebrating, but I never told you what we did. By the time we left the hospital that day it was almost 2 o’clock and, since I knew I had some extra cash, I decided it was high time I treated Nog to a tapa snack as he has been treating me since I got sick and haven’t been able to work.

And so we took the bus over to Becerrita and had a lovely tapa lunch. Calamares, lamb in honey sauce, potato croquettes and pork tenderloin with wild mushrooms. Then a nice walk home while I thought about the email I was going to send “Bob” that evening.

To be honest, every day has been a celebration since I was given the amazingly fabulous gift of a month to heal. It’s really changed my life and I am suddenly appreciating all the “little things” so much more. I guess I’d been feeling kind of hopeless and at the end of my rope, and so being given this chance to do things the way I feel I need to in order to get better ended up starting a whole series of positive changes. Still taking baby steps, but doing a little every day.

Having hope again is a wonderful thing.

one month

12 Friday Jun 2009

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hope

≈ 15 Comments

Orange_Calendar_2009

This is such an amazing story, though I’m not quite sure where to begin …

What the heck, let’s start with raincoaster. Awhile ago Facebook killed her account for using a “fake name”, so she started a new one using her real name and went through the rather tedious exercise of getting her friends list back together.  This started me thinking that my FB Azahar Sevilla account would probably suffer the same fate and, although I really don’t like FB, Rain convinced me that it is excellent for promoting events like classes, and so I decided to set up a new account using my real name too. Starting from scratch also meant that I could weed out the … well, the weeds. And it was just the kind of semi-mindless project I felt up to tackling this week.

The amazing bit happens next …

Continue reading →

a day at the hospital

11 Thursday Jun 2009

Posted by in cancer, chemo, friends, health & happiness, hope, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 12 Comments

day at the hospital

It was just supposed to be a routine appointment.

[warning: long, rambling and not very interesting
– just the way it actually happened!]

Last January when I had my post-surgery check-up I mentioned that since the operations (this had been my third in seven months) I’d been experiencing a painful burning sensation along the outside of my right thigh when I was in bed. I couldn’t remember if I’d had it before the ops, and the surgeon thought it was worth me getting it checked out. Though he clearly didn’t think it was too serious as my appointment with neurology was made for six months later. Yesterday, in fact. Of course, last January I didn’t know I’d be back on chemo . . .

Continue reading →

time out…

08 Monday Jun 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, chemo, fitness, food & drink, friends, health & happiness, home, hope, life stuff, yoga

≈ 17 Comments

healing

Remember multi-tasking az?
Well, she is taking some time out.
She needs some time to heal.

I just couldn’t do it all. I’ve spent the past two months going through the horrors of chemo for the second time, trying to organise work projects and find new students to teach, pay my bills, make new contacts … and all it’s doing is wearing me out. I haven’t actually found any work and I know that – things being the way they are in Seville – the chances of anything picking up for me workwise won’t realistically happen until September. So it’s time to stop hitting my head against that brick wall for now and time to start doing what I know will help me.

I’ve spent the past few days “practicing” my new healing method and you know what? It feels great. I’ve been listening to exactly what my mind and body need and then doing just that. And I know that, for me, this is the best way to heal.  I also know that doing this isn’t going to make me one euro, and I have no idea how I’m going to make ends meet over the summer … but I just can’t worry about that now.

This is what I need to do. Follow my heart.