Category Archives: health & happiness

anxiety alert

18 Tuesday Feb 2020

Posted by in health & happiness, home, hope

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Part of the many issues surrounding “invisible” medical conditions such as depression and anxiety is that they are, well, invisible. This means not only are most people unaware that someone they know might be suffering from this, but even after they are told, they somehow don’t quite believe it. I think it’s a bit like “the stupid things people say” when they find out someone has a nasty illness like cancer. And while I’ve talked at length here and elsewhere about my cancer story, I have not often mentioned the anxiety thing. But today it seems relevant because of a couple of recent experiences.

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one down, two to go…

13 Thursday Feb 2020

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals

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So there I was, up at 6.00 am in order to prepare for the prep… which began at 6.30. Four fucking litres of this vile solution, downed in 250ml doses every 15 minutes over 4 hours. After the first hour is when the fun starts. I was amazed that I was actually able to down all 16 doses, but after awhile nothing mattered anymore, so what the fuck, what was one more disgusting oral and anal experience? After that I had to spend 4 hours not drinking even one drop of water. You’d think that by this point I’d have had enough liquid to last me, but as I’d also lost a lot of liquid I was actually quite thirsty, and I’m not used to going that long without water.

Anyhow… got a taxi over to the hospital with my friend Paz. These days I go to as many hospital visits on my own as possible, but this one required that I be accompanied because they administer a mild sedative. In this case it wasn’t that mild! A dolantin-valium cocktail totally knocked me out and I woke up again an hour later going – wut? By then it was all over and they were wheeling me into the recovery room. Seriously I don’t ever remember being knocked out so completely during any previous colonoscopy/endoscopy procedures. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation? Whatever, it was done and – YAY! – I was told that there were no signs of cancer and I was good to go.

And so I went, with Paz, for a long walk over to the Huerta de Rey Moro, a community garden where some of her family were having a birthday party for one of her many nephews. Grabbed a cold beer, hung out with the family for awhile and then decided – fuck I’m hungry! I mean, it had been over 36 hours since my last bite. So I wandered over to Eslava for a snack and also to just feel normal again. These hospital things really take it out of me, so I got back into my element, chatting with the barmen, doing a bit of Instagramming… and after that I was ready to go home. It was such a relief to open my door to three hungry cats, feed them, put on my PJs and get ready for a cosy evening at home. BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED… (stay tuned)…

ufff…

12 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals

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So for the second time in two weeks I am going through the hideous colonoscopy prep, which is usually something people only have to endure once every few years. My last colonoscopy was two years ago but recent findings (looking for leaks!) have led to me having another one sooner than usual. Unfortunately that barium xray a couple of weeks ago also required this same prep so here I am again. But with a difference.

Previous tests were either in the morning or at midday, so the “clear liquids only” day was the day before the procedure, starting the dread EVACUANTE the evening before, dividing the 16 doses (10 in the evening, 6 the next morning). This time my appointment is at 4 pm, so I  have to start the liquid diet after lunch today and then GET UP AT 7 AM AND TAKE ALL 16 DOSES before 11 o’clock. I dunno… have never managed to get more than 10 down in a row, and am always – literally – gagging on the last two. Six more (one every 15 minutes) means an extra hour and a half of this liquid hell. Uffff….

The “good” news is that (well, so my onc says) they aren’t checking for cancer this time, even though all my test reports since November (CT, ultrasound, endoscopy, barium xray) mention a suspicious area of inflammation and state that they cannot completely rule out neoplastic pathology. Whatevs. More news as it happens…

hump day

29 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by in fitness, health & happiness

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A couple of years ago (or more?) I noticed that I “suddenly” had a hideous hump on my back. Well, between my neck and shoulder blades. At first I thought it was what’s known as a Buffalo Hump, which is usually caused by (amongst other things) being overweight. Then I heard about Dowager’s Hump, which looks similar but is basically caused by bad posture that leaves one with a curvature of the spine at shoulder level.

So I got online and also checked with the amazing @sledpress, and now I have a few stretch & strength exercises I can do at home. I’m also watching my posture when I sit in front of the computer. But the most challenging thing I’ve tried so far is simply walking (my almost-daily 10,000 steps) with shoulders and chin held straight. And OMG it’s hard. To consciously stay erect, no slouching, while walking. I had no idea I was so slouchy. Anyhow, this gives me over an hour of holding myself up properly and so perhaps I will see some improvements – hunchwise – soon.

Happy Wednesday (AKA Hump Day)

mirror mirror…

28 Tuesday Jan 2020

Posted by in friends, health & happiness

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So there I was having lunch with Lucy @sparkybakewell the other day and she happened to mention how she spent a Christmas gift card from El Corte Inglés on an 8x magnifiying LIGHT UP make-up mirror. At first I thought… whaaaat? I barely wear make-up and so don’t inspect my minimal make-up that closely… but then I went …. oooohh! Because I suddenly remembered THE FUCKING RANDOM SPROUTING HAIRS.

This first started about 15 years ago (?) when I would be happily going about my morning “getting ready to go out” routine – which is seriously basic, I have never worn much make-up, etc – and then would spot ONE MASSIVE black hair growing out of my chin, wicked-witch style, that FOR SURE hadn’t been there yesterday. Anyhoodle, out came the tweezers and – out damn hair!

Fast forward to now. I have next to no body hair anymore, possibly a result of my genes (my maternal grandmother was Cree Indian) or perhaps a combination of that and being OLD along with all the post-chemo stuff. Whatever. I have no visible body hair on my arms, legs, pits… which is fine by me. BUT… wtf is it with me suddenly noticing I have “cat whiskers” growing out the sides of my mouth, or rando hairs above my lip and on my chin?? NOT okay.

And so I got this magic mirror (on sale now! 20% off! the cheaper 5x version). And I have to say that the ol’ tweezers got a good workout the first day. Lucy did warn me that it’s knowing when to stop that may cause problems. Ha. I am actually a bit shocked at what I couldn’t see in my normal bathroom mirror. Anyhow, all gone now!