After 15 1/2 years I have been cut loose, set free, given the old heave ho… and I have such mixed feelings. After my last colonoscopy I also had a blood test done for cancer markers (and other things) and today I finally had my appointment with the oncologist to find out what’s what. And basically… nuthin’. The colonoscopy was normal, blood test relatively normal, cholesterol still a bit high, but lower than last year’s test, sugar also down… and so I asked my onc “what now?”. And so he took another look over my history and said… I think you’re done! In fact it’s been 15 years to the month since my last (third) cancer op, which is how they measure these things, in spite of me going back on chemo for six months the following year. And I was like… done? What? That’s it? Not even like a cancer marker test next year??

You’re probably wondering why I wasn’t immediately delighted. Well the thing is, once you have had cancer, and especially stage 4 colon cancer you weren’t meant to recover from, you always live under its shadow. It might be gone FOR NOW but it never feels like it’s well and truly gone. And my guy totally got this, saying that he understood that it might feel like I was losing a kind of health care “safety net”, but he laid out a couple of ways to still feel taken care of.

In his report to my GP he recommends a colonoscopy every three years (normally it’s 5) and he said if I was ever in serious doubt or experiencing any severe abdominal pain that, given my history, I could ask my GP to set up an oncology appointment. Even though I said that in my experience once you’re in serious pain with cancer it’s already almost too late. He didn’t disagree but, in his opinion, it didn’t make sense to keep testing for cancer 15 years later. In fact, he said they usually stop doing regular follow up scans and testing after five years but, again, given my history, they extended it to ten. Then it all got muddled with covid, etc… but now that’s it. I’ve been booted out of the Oncology Club.

FOR NOW.  I also finally managed to arrange the follow up ultrasound on my “dodgy boob” from the last mammogram in April. It’s next week. Given that my mother died of breast cancer and my sister has it now, you know, it’s not totally unreasonable that I’m (more than) a bit concerned. Why a follow up test? What about this sudden scary blocked nipple? My onc today had a look at said nipple and said it’s probably nothing important, not unusual, he couldn’t feel a mass, etc and that follow up ecos were almost routine.

Gotta say that after all this time and with a long history of inept and/or uncaring oncologists (I only got through my cancer ordeal thanks to my fab nuclear medicine team) it’s a bit ironic that the first time I meet a genuinely nice onc it’s also time to say goodbye. Well, this was actually our second appointment. First time a year or so ago and he was all… what the heck? why are you still getting all these scans? you’re going to die from radiation before you get cancer again!… which made sense. And he actually talked to me. Just like he did today. So I mostly feel okay about being cut loose because I know there are a few clear avenues I can pursue if I need to, but it’s going to take a few days to actually process. And of course there’s still next week’s boob ultrasound… 🤞