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Category Archives: hope

more hope

03 Monday Jan 2011

Posted by azahar in cancer, home, hope, life stuff

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

2011, cancer, hope, postaday2011

On January 3rd 2009 I put up my first ever Photohunt entry – that week’s theme was “Hope”. It was a photo of my old suede daybook showing January 3rd 2010 with the words STILL HERE written on the page, because in 2008 I’d been  diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer, had gone through three major operations and one nasty bout of chemo and had also been told my chances of survival weren’t very good. The next year I did the same thing for the following January 3rd after having had a recurrence and more chemo, and I tell ya, it was wonderful this morning to see those words again and still actually be here. With another PET scan coming up this month I’m starting to get very nervous once again.

And so here is today’s STILL HERE pic written on the page for January 3rd 2012 (taken in bed with iPhone, hence a bit fuzzy). I really really hope to see you then!

Christmas 2010

25 Saturday Dec 2010

Posted by azahar in christmas, friends, holidays, home, hope, love

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

christmas

Christmas is love in action.
Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.

Merry Christmas everybody!

sometimes…

21 Thursday Oct 2010

Posted by azahar in cancer, death & dying, health & happiness, hope, life stuff

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

cancer, life stuff

…entire days go by without me thinking about having a terminal illness.

Yesterday wasn’t one of them.

bit of a ramble…

05 Thursday Aug 2010

Posted by azahar in cancer, cats, cooking, diet & nutrition, fitness, health & happiness, home, hope, Malaga, sevilla, summer, trips, work

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

ramble

Warning: bit of a ramble. If you are still interested, please read on…

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wonder twins

13 Tuesday Jul 2010

Posted by azahar in cancer, change, chemo, death & dying, friends, hope, hospitals

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

cancer, friends


Sometimes I think about the things that have happened over the past two years,which never would have happened if I hadn’t got cancer. And amongst all the nightmarish crap there is actually quite a lot of good stuff too. One of the best things has been meeting and getting to know my friends Gaelen and Jed, both of whom I met on the Colon Club forum. There are a lot of very good people on that forum, but somehow I’ve always felt especially connected to these two guys in a way that’s difficult to explain. I’ve also had many parallel experiences with both, and most recently with Jed…

You probably remember the seriously bad scanxiety I had before my last PET scan a couple of weeks ago, feeling almost certain that the other shoe was about to drop and I was going to end up back on chemo this summer. Or worse – that they would find more tumours and chemo would no longer be an option. Well, at that same time Jed was very seriously looking at that latter situation after having had a scary PET scan result a few months earlier. His follow-up PET was scheduled for a few days after mine but he then had to wait another ten days to get his results. Which was yesterday.

Jed’s been in Taiwan with his family this past year, teaching and writing, which means we are in way different time zones. And so when I woke up yesterday morning I knew that he would have already seen his doctor. First thing I did was grab the iPhone and check my emails, and there it was. A quick report from Jed saying those magic words – nothing visible on the scan – and I almost cried from relief and happiness, also knowing how relieved and happy he must be feeling. As he said, “we have both had our doctors convinced we were beyond hope before climbing back from the brink”, and I think it was over on the forum that he first made the remark about us activating our wonder twin powers, which made me laugh. But hey – it worked!

So, well done my wonder twin.
Together we are invincible!

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