• about azahar (that’s me!)
  • my cancer story
  • azahar’s kitchen
  • azahar’s sevilla
  • sevilla tapas
  • personal trip planning

casa azahar

~ my life in sevilla

casa azahar

Category Archives: hope

anxiety alert

18 Tuesday Feb 2020

Posted by azahar in health & happiness, home, hope

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

anxiety, depression, hope, mental health

Part of the many issues surrounding “invisible” medical conditions such as depression and anxiety is that they are, well, invisible. This means not only are most people unaware that someone they know might be suffering from this, but even after they are told, they somehow don’t quite believe it. I think it’s a bit like “the stupid things people say” when they find out someone has a nasty illness like cancer. And while I’ve talked at length here and elsewhere about my cancer story, I have not often mentioned the anxiety thing. But today it seems relevant because of a couple of recent experiences.

Continue reading →

hope 2021

03 Friday Jan 2020

Posted by azahar in hope, life stuff

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

hope, life

On January 3rd 2009 I posted a photo of my battered old daybook turned to January 3rd 2010 with the words “STILL HERE!” written on it, as a weekly Photo Challenge I was doing at the time – the theme that week was Hope. Having just finished a second stint of chemo a few months previously this felt like a very bold – and hopeful – thing to do.

Since then I have continued the “tradition of hope” and have posted a similar photo on this date each year. So, as always, here’s hoping that I will still be here January 3rd 2021, and will see this page in my book… and then post my hopeful wish for 2022.  🙂

finally!

06 Friday Dec 2019

Posted by azahar in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals, sevilla

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

cancer, health, hospitals, sevilla

Fingers crossed!

ct scan results

12 Tuesday Nov 2019

Posted by azahar in cancer, hope, hospitals, sevilla

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

cancer, ct scan, health, hospitals, sevilla

Picked up my CT scan results today. I’m so glad my GP will print out a copy for me once the report has been uploaded onto the hospital database. Then I type it out in Spanish and put it through google translate (with medical terminology it’s pretty accurate). And then I read it. Because I know it will be weeks before I get another appointment with my oncologist and it’s good not to feel in the dark all that time.

Anyhow, remember last year after my November 2018 CT scan when my oncologist told me I was fine now, cancer free for ten years, so I didn’t need any more scans, but you know, I should come back if I’m ever in pain? And I thought, fuck that shit, by the time you are in pain with cancer you are practically dead (as I found out back in 2008).

So I convinced her to at least let me have an ultrasound, which happened late last summer. And guess what? They saw something on my liver that they felt warranted an MRI. Meanwhile, my mystery pain came back (again!), so then my oncologist agreed to another CT scan, instead of an MRI, which she said was a more “complete” test.

All I can say is… damn good thing I am still getting tested! The report from last week’s scan is a mixed bag of inconclusiveness, but there is concern about “this and that”, so it looks like more testing is on the horizon. Not going to go into details now since nothing has been confirmed, but they could not entirely rule out more cancer, along with a few other new “issues” which have kind of left me reeling. On the other hand, it may all be nothing but inflammation from previous operations and illnesses. Me? I’ve gone numb. And am keeping on with my daily walks. There’s nothing else I can do for the moment.

blood!

14 Wednesday Aug 2019

Posted by azahar in cancer, casa azahar, home, hope, hospitals, sevilla

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

cancer, health, hospitals, sevilla

WARNING: although this looks like a Jackson Pollock (it’s actually BLOOD!) the rest of this post might be a bit TMI for some of you. Nothing gross or anything, just, you know, perhaps somewhat more info than you may want to know about. So you have been warned. And it’s totally fine if you don’t want to carry on reading…

Continue reading →

← Older posts
Newer posts →

patreon (1)

OR

comments

azahar's avatarazahar on occult
azahar's avatarazahar on caturday september 12th 2…
sledpress's avatarsledpress on caturday september 12th 2…
sledpress's avatarsledpress on occult
Unknown's avataroccult | casa azahar on getting my ducks in a row…
sledpress's avatarsledpress on the most spanish of ceram…
sledpress's avatarsledpress on monday
azahar's avatarazahar on hola… septiembre?
sledpress's avatarsledpress on hola… septiembre?
Deb B's avatarDeb B on dolly

meta

  • Create account
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

visitations

  • 1,023,975 peeks

categories

archives

Enter your email address to subscribe to casa az and get email notices of new posts.

Join 2,277 other subscribers

azahar on Instagram

No Instagram images were found.

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • casa azahar
    • Join 2,010 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • casa azahar
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
Loading Comments...