Category Archives: hope

birthday 2019

07 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by in birthdays, casa azahar, food & drink, friends, gastronomy, hope, sevilla, sherry, spam, tapas, tapas bars

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So yikes! I am 62 years old today. Like, how’d that happen?  😉  It’s a total cliché and absolute truth about time flying. And especially with all the cancer stuff, ten years ago now and hopefully completely in the past, it’s amazing I’ve made it this far. Unlike a lot of people, I’ve always loved my birthday, even though the getting older thing comes with some drawbacks (KNEES for example) it certainly beats not getting older! So I do like to do something special to celebrate still being here.

Today I met my friend (and colleague) Cinta @cintaromero75 for a fabulous seafood lunch at Cañabota. Great food and wine, and even better company. It was great catching up.

By chance Charlie & Sam, co-owners of @vinoveroleigh were arriving in Sevilla this afternoon, though too late to join us for lunch, so I met up with them afterwards for a penúltima.

I first met C & S in 2016, when mutual friends Phoebe and Ollie invited me to a rooftop dinner at their place in London. They came to Sevilla a few months later that same year, and are back for a quick getaway. After our cava I headed home, delighted to see the Christmas lights were still on! An excellent birthday.

hope 2020

03 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by in hope, life stuff, love

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Back in 2009 my first ever Photohunt entry was on January 3rd. The theme that week was “hope” and I put up a photo of my battered old daybook turned to January 3rd 2010 with the words “STILL HERE!” written on it. Having just finished a second stint of chemo a few months previously this felt like a very bold – and hopeful – thing to do.

Since then I have continued the “tradition of hope” and have posted a similar photo on this date each year. So, as always, here’s hoping that I will still be here January 3rd 2020, and will see this page in my book… and smile just like I did this morning.

more no news is good news

25 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by in cancer, home, hope, hospitals

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After having my oncology appointment postponed a couple of times, I finally got in to see my doctor. And the news was kind of the same as the last time. The good news is that the inflamed area is a bit smaller than it was in March, so that seems hopeful. The “bad” news isn’t actually bad. But they still want to keep a watch on this, so another CT scan is scheduled for November, at which time they will probably also do another endoscopy. Meanwhile I am to get in touch if any of the scary symptoms return (abdominal pain, unexplained weight loss).

Anyhow, after leaving the hospital we stopped in at Las Teresas for a celebratory glass of cava with jamón. So until November… am really going to try to just get on with things, but it is difficult for me to just relax about all this. Still, very glad that it wasn’t actually bad news.

more suspense!

05 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by in hope, hospitals, sevilla, spain

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Aaaargh. So after wasting a morning of my life at the hospital two weeks ago (but getting a cool ride in a Jaguar!)  today’s oncology appointment was also postponed because the results weren’t signed in time. So now I have an appointment on July 12th… BUT… it turns out my oncologist is going to be away on holiday (!!) so I will end up seeing someone I don’t know and who doesn’t know me. I could put it off until August – and maybe I should? – but I would really like to know what’s going on. Meanwhile I have recklessly booked my summer trips thinking that if anything horrible had shown up on the last CT they would have called me in sooner. Anyhow, that’s me at the moment. Not too thrilled about things, and still quite nervous, but hoping for the best.

the jag

21 Thursday Jun 2018

Posted by in hope, hospitals, spain

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So this morning was THE BIG DAY. After several months of tests, including the original PET scan, then a colonoscopy, endoscopy, blood tests, a CT scan with another follow-up CT last week… I was finally going to get my results. To hopefully tell me what is going on with the mysterious “area of inflammation” they found during my last PET scan in February.

I won’t lie. I’ve been a bit of a mess about this since they started “investigating” this inflammation. I do my best to live in denial and just carry on with my life, but when it comes to stuff like booking a tapas tour a few months in advance, I am left wondering if I’ll actually be able to do it. Likewise with my summer plans. I’ve been putting everything on hold until I got the “go ahead”. Which was supposed to be today.

Except it wasn’t. I got to the hospital and after more than an hour in the hot and crowded waiting room, I was shown into the oncologist’s office… only to be told the CT scan results hadn’t been processed yet. WTF? My oncologist looked surprised and said – “oh, didn’t they call you yesterday?”. Well of course they hadn’t fucking called me yesterday, otherwise I wouldn’t have been there. Also, I wouldn’t have lost most of this week in a state of suspended emotion, not daring to feel or hope… JUST IN CASE. And so I sat there not believing this was happening. Then the doctor pulled a date out of the air – July 5th – to meet again, saying that FOR SURE the results will have been processed by then. Well, what choice do I have?

I walked out of the hospital feeling a whole whack of mixed emotions. In some ways I was relieved because “no news is good news”. Well, maybe. But I was also annoyed at having lost my entire morning, not just the 3 hours getting to and from the hospital, and waiting there, but really the whole day up until then. BUT… what saved the entire experience from total disaster was… my taxi! I always taxi to the hospital and then usually walk back, mostly because I am so stressed before going that a taxi is a comfortable and easy way of getting there.

Anyhow check it out. I got into the taxi, not paying much attention. Then I noticed the big JAGUAR logo on the dashboard screen. And so I stupidly said to the driver – THIS IS A JAGUAR??? Then I went all fan girl, saying how Jags were my favourite cars and that I couldn’t believe that I was in a Jaguar taxi. The driver informed me that not only was this was the only Jaguar taxi in Sevilla, it was the only one in Spain. WOW. I told him that I was going to the hospital for test results and that I took this as a positive sign, and also that it was so cool that I’d be arriving there in style. And bless him, he said he was sure this meant everything was going to be okay. Then he showed me a photo of his friend’s taxi – the only Maserati taxi in Spain. I’m telling you, this totally MADE MY DAY. Being driven to the hospital in a Jaguar XF.

Meanwhile, I now have two more weeks of hellish anxiety until the next oncology appointment. I wish I would have asked my driver for his card so I could always call him up when I have to go to the hospital…