Category Archives: hospitals

waiting…

15 Tuesday Jun 2010

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals, summer

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

,

Ever since my oncology appointment on May 24th I’ve been waiting to hear when my next PET scan will be. I’d been told it was going to be sometime during the first half of June and, frankly, I’ve been a nervous wreck all month. Then on Friday one of The Team told me the PET would definitely be this week and the hospital would call me on Monday (yesterday) to confirm. And well, they did call. But I was told my PET would be on Monday June28th. Two whole weeks away. Which I suppose won’t make much difference in terms of my health (if there are tumours it’s doubtful they will grow significantly in two weeks) … but dammit. I’ve been trying to get my work organised and the summer planned and had hoped to know at the beginning of June whether I was going to have a cancer-&-chemo-free summer.

Now I won’t know until July.

This sucks.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

a good day

25 Tuesday May 2010

Posted by in cancer, chemo, food & drink, friends, hope, hospitals, neighbours, sevilla, work

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

After all was said and done my “scary” hospital day yesterday turned out quite well. I’d got up early for yoga class and tried to keep busy doing biz stuff at home later, but I was getting more and more nervous as the day went on. And it was silly because I KNEW that this oncology appointment was just going to be about setting up my next PET scan, but unlike going to get my port flushed out (which I can now do on my own!), actually having to talk to the oncologist makes the whole cancer thing feel more real and threatening somehow. But it went well. Had a nice chat with doctor Ana and, after a bit of consternation on her part, she agreed to let me have the scan early in June, which was what I’d been hoping for. I have so many things on the go that I want to know as soon as possible if I’m going to be okay for the next few months. Also, if this next scan is clean, it’ll be the first summer in three years that I haven’t been on chemo…

Continue reading →

brave

13 Thursday May 2010

Posted by in cancer, chemo, hospitals, life stuff, tapas

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

, ,

Busy hospital/health care day. First an early morning trip to the health centre to get my bloodwork done in time for my next oncology appointment (May 24th). Then to the hospital later this afternoon to get the chemo port flushed. The blood test is no big deal – other than not being able to have coffee when I get up – as it’s just a short walk to the health centre and I don’t have any scary memories attached to the place. But we all know how I feel about the hospital! Which is why I am so pleased to report that this will be the third time I’ve gone to get my port flushed all by myself. Okay, I still go in a taxi (feels safer somehow), but I time it so that afterwards I can meet Nog after his last class of the day, which is about a ten minute walk from the hospital, and then we go for a drink and maybe a tapa and have a nice walk home. Pretty good, eh?

In fact, I think I deserve a medal!  🙂

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

another hospital day…

22 Monday Feb 2010

Posted by in animals & pets, cancer, cats, death & dying, hospitals

≈ 24 Comments

Tags

, ,

Got my appointment with Dr Ana the oncologist today at 5pm. Meanwhile, Azar has been all floppy and unwell over the weekend, so I will have to take him to the vet’s this morning and I’m worried sick. Could it be a delayed reaction to the vaccination? Is he dying? I can’t help but think of my last oncology appointment on November 17th and how that same morning I’d taken Sunny to the vet’s … and then that night he lay dying in my arms. I mean, hospital days totally suck anyhow without all this extra crap. So much for taking things easy and preparing myself for my next hospital visit.

I’m a wreck. Azar is not well.
I am not coping.
Fuck.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

fear

12 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by in cancer, hope, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 9 Comments

Tags


Fear is my worst enemy.

I mean that it is the one thing I cannot seem to cope with in a way that doesn’t make me hate myself, that makes me feel like I will never “grow up”. And I was reminded of this yesterday when I had to go to the hospital to get the chemo port flushed out. A once a month ordeal. And it really shouldn’t be an ORDEAL because if I go at the right time (around 7pm) there is a very short wait and the procedure itself only takes about five minutes. But there is so much attached to walking through those hospital doors, so many awful memories of FEAR. And I stupidly let it catch me by surprise because I’d been having such a great week. Lots of positive things were happening, got things resolved with the kitteh situation, and I’d even lost a couple of kilos! Then sometime just before lunch it was like someone turned on the fear tap and I was suddenly inundated with a horrible flood of emotions that seemingly came out of nowhere. Though of course they have been there all along …

Continue reading →