It all started when I got chosen to be one of the expert judges in a new gastronomy project organised by the Sevilla Tourism office (more on that next blog post) and I was told to show up early for the presentation and press for a “family photo”. Eeep! Everyone who knows me knows that I have had a lifelong dread of having my photo taken, and especially now that I’ve got so fat and all. And so while chatting about this to my friend and fellow blogger Fiona (Scribbler in Seville) she suggested that I use some foundation to “smooth things over”. Well, this obviously wasn’t about to make me look 20 kilos thinner but the more I thought about it the more curious I got. Just to say, I have never worn “face make-up”, though I did used to powder on a wee bit of blusher years ago. Don’t really know why I stopped. Anyhow, the only make-up item I own these days is an eyebrow pencil, simply because I don’t have any eyebrows to speak of. So usually it’s just a quick shading in of the “eyebrows” in the morning and I’m good to go.
But suddenly I found myself out in search of make-up! And the obvious choice for me was to go to the Clinique counter in El Corte Inglés. Fiona had warned me that all the make-up girls there were snobby but I knew that Clinique trains its own staff and I’ve always been treated well when buying perfume. At first I wasn’t even sure what to ask for and told the sales clerk that I was just looking. But then I finally gave in and told her I was looking for some kind of foundation but had no idea… and she took things from there. Not at all pushy about selling, she showed me a few items and explained the difference, and then recommended this light foundation called “Almost Powder”. Then she suggested I sit in The Chair for a mini-makeover. Ha. Here comes the Big Sell, I thought, but no…
First thing she did was ask my name and then said “Hi Shawn, nice to meet you, my name’s Carmen”, which I though was a really nice touch, especially when someone is about to start doing things to your face. And what she did was first brush the foundation on half my face and then show me the difference. I was actually kind of amazed, especially as it didn’t look artificial. So then she went on to finish the other half, applied a light dusting of blush on my cheeks and then a bit of pink lip gloss (wtf??). But when I looked in the mirror again I saw she was right – the lip gloss actually worked! So I bought this super expensive compact that just happened to be 10% off. But even at full price I would’ve been happy because I’m a sucker for Clinique packaging. Always elegant. And then I headed off to purchase a much cheaper version of blush and lip gloss from Rimmel (so I could look just like Kate Moss).
Next day I got ready for the presentation and dreaded photo shoot, and then applied The Make-up. And you know what? It actually made me feel more attractive. Not even so much that I thought I maybe looked better, but more because I’d taken that extra step and time… in any case, when it came time for the photo I strategically arranged my bulk to be half-hidden behind one of the organisers and then confidently looked out at the line of photographers whirring away and thinking, hey, this is me. Looking as best as I can, and really not too bad for a 56 1/2 year old chica. Actually made me feel kinda grown up.
I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic, but it kinda irks to have romance thrust upon me one day a year. It was even worse when I was the fat & ugly kid at school that my classmates shunned – that is, when they weren’t busy finding new and painful ways to humiliate me. Not getting any valentines from said classmates was just one of those ways. But fuck ’em, you know? It was really the teachers who were to blame, setting all us misfits up like that. But it still hurt.
casa azahar 