Category Archives: health & happiness

a sad day

21 Saturday Apr 2012

Posted by in cancer, cats, death & dying, health & happiness, love

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Yesterday was a very sad day. I’m still taking it in a bit at a time because I can’t actually “go there” yet…

Remember I mentioned on Azar’s birthday post that I’d found a couple of small lumps on his shoulder? Well, on Thursday he scratched off a big scab along with a clump of fur and I realised that there was actually a wound there and that it was infected (bad smell!). And so yesterday I took Azar to see Yolanda. At first she said that it might be a scratch or bite from one of the other cats that got infected, but upon closer inspection she confirmed my worst fear. That it was mostly likely a tumour, and cancerous. I asked her if it might be a vaccine associated sarcoma and she said she couldn’t be sure. But I remember clear as day that she gave Azar his one and only vaccination injection just above his shoulder, the one we gave him to prevent him from catching anything potentially fatal from Loki just over two years ago.

In any case, there is nothing to be done. Yolanda said flat out that at Azar’s age and with his kidney problems, he would not likely survive an operation to remove the tumour, which she said was quite an invasive procedure and required a general anaesthetic. She said the important thing was to ensure his quality of life as long as possible until it was time to “let go of a full and happy life”.  And I stood there calm as can be asking what symptoms I should look out for. But I can’t write them here now because it will make me cry, like I did most of yesterday afternoon.

And I am trying hard not to go through the hellish “what ifs” that are racing through my brain. What if I hadn’t opted for that vaccination, what if Yolanda has given it in a different place (as is recommended these days), what if I’d taken Azar in sooner when I first noticed the lump…

Anyhow, here is a photo of my darling boy (taken five minutes ago) curled up next to me on his favourite stool with the balcony doors open, enjoying a lovely warm spring breeze and lots of cuddles and carresses from his Human. Quality of life still okey-dokey so far.

comfort food

01 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by in cooking, culture, diet & nutrition, food & drink, health & happiness, home

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Today I made this very comfort-foodie dish based on having tried it a few times elsewhere. It has some of the usual comfort food ingredients (potatoes, eggs) as well as some chorizo and spicy pimentón thrown in for good measure. And most enjoyable it was too!

Here is the recipe: huevos rotos

But as comforting (and delicious) this late Sunday lunch was, when it comes to comfort food I’d probably say my favourites would include cheese. Like, mac & cheese or grilled cheese sandwiches.

What’s your favourite comfort food?

regrets? well, maybe a few…

21 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by in death & dying, health & happiness, life stuff

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If You Were Going to Die Today, What Would You Regret Most (and How Would You Change for the Better)?

I came across that Grauniad article a few weeks ago, via LifeHacker on Twitter, and have been thinking about it ever since. Well, sort of thinking about it, in the sense that it might provoke a bit of stimulating conversation over here at casa az. I mean, it’s not ALL about cats and tapas, is it?

Or is it?

You see, I did find the article interesting as it is said to be based on findings of a palliative nurse called Bronnie Ware who recorded her findings on the most common regrets of the dying. And she even wrote a book about it.

Apparently the top five regrets of the dying are as follows:

  • I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  • I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  • I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  • I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  • I wish that I had let myself be happier.

And apparently by reading other people’s dying regrets we should be able to “learn from their wisdom” and save ourselves from the same fate. Well, this is where it all falls apart for me. What wisdom? And learn what exactly? I don’t like those “what if you were going to die today…?” questions because NOBODY other than people who are actually about to die today could ever properly answer them. And given that they would be going through the business of dying it’s unlikely they’d be interested in taking part in a questionnaire.

But then the Guardian article asks the following question…

What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

That seems a fair enough question. Up for it?

red meat kills!

14 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by in cancer, death & dying, diet & nutrition, food & drink, health & happiness, wtf?

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First of all, read this very silly article – supposedly Health NEWS – from the BBC:

Red meat increases death, cancer and heart risk, says study

Now I ask you… who out there with even half a brain doesn’t know that eating a balanced diet is the healthiest option? Who hasn’t heard (all their lives) that it’s best to eat red meat in moderation? Same goes for fried food, rich sauces, bacon, butter, pâté, fatty cheeses … you know, all the good stuff. And so when I read that a study of over 120,000 people over almost 30 years “suggested red meat increased the risk of death from cancer and heart problems” I clutched my head in despair. In all seriousness, there is probably more “risk of death” every time you cross the street. And, although I don’t eat much red meat myself, I still ended up with colon cancer. So go figure. I honestly don’t see how articles like these are beneficial to anyone – must’ve been an especially slow news day at the BBC.

Meanwhile, that tasty looking dish up there is a divinely decadent combination of perfectly fried eggs (with slightly runny yolks), grilled spicy chorizo Ibérico and potatoes, topped with thin slices of gorgeous jamón Ibérico. But as delicious as it is, I wouldn’t dream of eating that every day. Why? Because I’m not stupid.

I still can’t believe that after years and years of going to the Vineria San Telmo I only tried that dish for the first time during my marathon tapas tours the other day. It truly is to die for. So to speak…

chemo port cleaning

06 Tuesday Mar 2012

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

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It was that time of the month again today – chemo port cleaning time! It’s actually been a bit better since they changed their system and I go to the blood lab next to the main hospital building rather than the room where everyone is getting their chemo infusions done. Doesn’t *quite* feel so much like going to the hospital. But I still taxi there and back. A bit of a splurge, but it takes the edge off by going in comfort rather than having to get on a crowded bus, etc.

So after today’s procedure (you can see a tiny white bandaid in my cleavage there – dig that crazy shirt!) I decided to pop over to the Nuclear Medicine department to see if either Ricardo or Isabel were there and ask them if I could get a copy of my last PET scan results. Ended up having a nice visit with Ricardo, talking about travelling and this & that. Finally got around to discussing the whole cancer thing and when he asked how I was feeling I said I felt quite okay, but also felt I should be taking better care of myself. His reply was that we all should and that, although I still have this thing looming over my head, something else could come along and “get me” so probably best to just get on with things and not dwell on it. And you know what? He’s right. He’s also one of the very few people on the planet who could actually say that to me and not make me want to rip their head off.

But the chemo port cleaning is a monthly reminder that I have this port imbedded inside me FOR A REASON. Which is that I’m still considered very high risk for recurrance. Hard not to think of that sometimes, but today talking with Ricardo helped.

Now I’m off to meet a group of 8 people from Thailand and take them on a tapas tour!

What did you do today?